"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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