Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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