I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
