I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
