Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
