And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
