call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize