How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Are my feet made of real feet?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
