Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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