I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
