4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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