Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
tequila makes me forget i have legs
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
