There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
