But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
