i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
