don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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