You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
