none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
