TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize