this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
