Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Semen is not good for contacts.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize