i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
