I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my being single is dangerous.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
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