my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
