Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
