omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
