addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
