I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
