Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
