I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize