Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
