And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize