Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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