I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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