I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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