i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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