he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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