What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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