I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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