I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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