what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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