i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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