Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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