He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize