the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
