You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
