i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
