not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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