Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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