she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
