During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize