Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
