I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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