I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
