Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
