I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
