exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
