my sisters under your porch take her home
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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