"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
