I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize